100 Things

Why do I do this? Not because I think you'll care, but I found myself listing things off in my head today as I reflected on a job interview and the first question that inevitably gets asked "So, tell me a little bit about yourself."

I. Hate. This. Question.

Why? Because I always answer incorrectly. I tell potential employers things that they don't want to know about, or things irrelevant to the position I'm interviewing for. As a matter of fact, this should be #1 on my list. I'm a lousy interview.
But the question is as much at fault as I believe my nervousness is. "Tell me why you are interested in this position" would seem to be a much more direct question that would get at both my work and personal interests AS WELL AS letting the employer know a bit more about who I am. "Tell me a little bit about yourself" is just so open to interpretation, just vague enough to leave the interviewee wondering if this is like an awkward speed dating situation and if it is appropriate to mention thing #2 on the list, I have approximately 10 craft projects started but none of them completed because I am constantly distracted by that shiny thing over there.

So in the spirit of the awkwardness of this question, here are 100 Things About Me that are not common knowledge. I'll try to make this somewhat interesting.

1. I'm a lousy interview.

2. I have approximately 10 craft projects started but none completed because I am constantly distracted by that shiny thing over there.

3. My favorite birdsong is the chickadee's. It makes me feel safe.

4. I wish my hair would go gray faster.

5. I'm wary of heights because I'm afraid I'll forget that I can't fly and just step off the edge.

6. I like that I'm absentminded.

7. Skin fascinates me.

8. I am a survivor of incest.

9. Watching people truly express themselves through movement or music makes me cry.

10. Toast makes me happy.

11. I consider myself educated and reasonably intelligent, but lack the attention necessary to read a book from start to finish in under a month. I often have to go back and reread sections during one sitting because I have difficulty not thinking about other things while I'm reading.

12. I employ three cats and one husband. I pay them in love and affection most of the time, though they are the first to experience my frustration and resulting anger on a regular basis.

13. Things to put other things in (boxes, essentially) hold an endless fascination for me because of the potential of what could be inside.

14. If friends ask me to house sit for an extended period of time I am likely to look through their closets and drawers. I always look in the medicine cabinets in bathrooms.

15. I love most things Halloween. It has always been my favorite holiday and I can still remember the decorations that the neighbors would put in their picture window at the front of the house.

16. I have adopted traits from others that I find appealing. (I'm a copy cat.)

17. I apologize to animals that have been killed by cars. I'll likely refer to them as "buddy".

18. I prefer only occasional contact with my friends and really don't mind if I don't hear from them for months at a time.

19. I prefer for people to tell me about themselves, and feel horribly self-centered when I talk about myself. I'm not all that interesting. (Yet I make this list for you.)

20. I drink one alcoholic drink a week because my system can't really handle a lot of alcohol (I'm a cheap drunk), but I like to have alcohol as part of my diet. It's like a treat that I get to look forward to on a Friday night. Beer! Whoooo!

21. I think of my misstach (I have dark hair on my upper lip) as my body's tribute to Frida Kahlo, but still want to rip it out anyway.

22. I have one tattoo and would like more but can't decide on a piece of work that I think would be personally meaningful enough put on my body.

23. I got my tongue pierced just so I would know what it was like to have a body piercing. I don't have it anymore.

24. Doctors' say that I don't scar well after surgery. On the contrary, I think I scar quite well, it's just that scarring is rarely the desired result.

25. The first (and only) time I got an anonymous wolf whistle I wanted to track down the whistler and thank him.

26. Whenever I'm stressed and/or nervous about the direction my life is taking I dream that I'm kissing my brother. ugh.

27. Because of my abuse I am mostly unsure of how to react to physical contact of any kind from people, including my husband. It's all awkward.

28. Weather of any kind makes me happy, though I'll complain about it for the sake of polite interaction.

29. I can be catty as hell.

30. I am not a religious person, but am attracted to spiritual practices found in buddhism and paganism.

31. I both love and hate having "things".

32. I like to make sock puppets and then give them away to people.

33. I own the yellow and blue mixing bowls that my grandfather gave my grandmother as a gift. They are so chipped that I'm afraid to use them, but they are a great memory of jam squares and pies at gram's house.

34. I never told my grandparents about my abuse, but I don't know if my mother did.

35. I want to own a house with many bedrooms so my friends can just come and stay with me as long as they want.

36. Or, I would like to become a beach bum and paint horrible paintings and then sell them to tourists.

37. I really have no concept of the power of money, but I'm in charge of paying the household bills.

38. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac.

39. My husband tells me that I can "create a presence". (It basically says "don't f* with me.) I've seen it work if I pay attention, it's scary powerful.

40. I used to yell at women in diet commercials who raved about being a size 2; then I lost 60 lbs over 2 years and guess what, I'm a size 2.

41. I work out on a regular basis but don't look forward to exercise. I always feel better when I'm done though.

42. I wish I had gone to prom with the guy I asked instead of bailing on him to go visit my boyfriend who was in the army.

43. I make up conversations for people/situations/things in my head and can make myself laugh out loud because of them.

44. I wish I had stopped to comfort the boy I saw crying outside of a house while the police just stood by and did their job.

45. I'm the reason why haunted houses put up signs that say things like "Please don't hit/push/assault the house participants."

46. I am uncomfortable with my own mortality, but not necessarily aging.

47. I wish I would get struck by lightening.

48. I miss the thunderstorms that would get stuck in the valley where my grandparents lived.

49. I need the excitement of others to keep myself motivated.

50. It's not that I don't like children, it's that I don't really remember being one so I find it difficult to relate them.

51. I don't plan on having children because I've never had a burning desire to be a mother; but I have felt wooed by the romance of being pregnant.

52. I worked in a bar as a server for three days before some man looked at me and said "dirty deeds done dirt cheap" and decided that wasn't the job for me. The owner said I hadn't really given it a chance.

53. I like to find faces in things, like wall sockets and appliances.

54. I memorized "The Jabberwocky" for a high school English class and never forgot it.



Ok, it's getting late and I'm hitting a bit of a block. Let's see if I can finish this later. Give my brain some time to think of more things.

I'm back! And through the magic of the computer you don't even know how much time has really gone by. Amazing!

55. I own more stuffed animals than any 37-year-old woman has a reason to. 2 of them are from my childhood: a green pig and my first teddy bear.

56. I used to duck when I drove under bridges. I actually had to make a conscious effort to stop.

57. I have a plate and screws in my left leg because I decided to jump on a trampoline with three other people when I was 28 and broke my leg because of it. It's the only bone I've ever broken.

58. I used to cheat at Monopoly when I would babysit this one girl. I liked the girl ok, I just hate Monopoly.

59. I feel I am responsible for how much my cats meow because I answer them as if we were having a conversation.

60. I don't like to tell people that I miss them, or that I will miss them. I prefer to tell them I'm looking forward to seeing them again.

61. I can be an insufferable know-it-all. It's good when friends call me on this.

62. My mom pays for us to have breakfast once a week (maybe twice) and I don't really feel guilty about it.

63. I have played Dungeons and Dragons once in my life, and I laughed all the way through.

64. When I started reading Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" I wondered why it was such a revolution in writing because his style is much like what goes on in my own head. I had to remind myself it was published in 1957.

65. A friend and I once started our own erotica club and would send each other original dirty stories once a month or so.

66. I don't feel like I'll ever be truly satisfied with my life, but I don't think that's a bad thing.

67. I would love to have an "around the world in 80 days" adventure. Or hike the Adirondack trail.

68. I have had a threesome, and been madly in love with a woman.

69. I believe I have some OCD tendencies, but don't let them rule my life.



Ok, now I'm starting to get sleepy. (Been fighting a bit of insomnia lately.) 30 more to go, off to bed and through the magic of editing I'll be back to complete this.


Wakey wakey!

70. I prefer to eat most foods at room temperature. Ice cream and coffee are exceptions.

71. I once wrote a ditty about picking my toes.

72. I own a unicycle but have never learned to ride it.

73. At 37 I am still pretty much undecided about what I'd like to do with my life.

74. I do things just to prove to myself that I can do them. (Go to a real restaurant by myself and eat a meal, make a quilt, take an office job)

75. My favorite breakfast is what I consider an "old man" breakfast. Coffee, toast, eggs (over medium) and beans. Maybe some bacon. I dip the toast in the egg yolks.

76. I cannot keep a secret.

77. I will tell someone the same story/information at least three times because I don't remember ever telling it before. My personal best is asking someone 7 times over the course of an afternoon if he wanted any of the french onion soup. He did not.

78. I talk to myself frequently.

79. A hot shower is one of my favorite things.

80. So is an afternoon nap.

81. Though I like vacations, I don't really like one-day holidays. They break up my schedule.

82. I have to consciously talk myself out of impulse purchases.

83. I have mild dyslexia.

84. I appreciate the convenience of urban life, but every time I go to a more rural place I feel like I'm going home.

85. Though I like to think of myself as a creative type, I often have a difficult time "breaking the rules" even when it won't have any affect on anything or anyone.



Wow! This is just taking forever. It's like I have to go back and review the rest of the list so I can get inspiratin for the last 15. man.


86. I like to wear interesting underwear. What's the fun in wearing boring panties?

87. I'm a lazy cook/vegetarian. I don't want to put in the necessary effort to make fantastic meat-free meals that will give me a good dose of all the nutrients I need.

88. I took dance lessons for at least 4 years but can't keep a beat to save my life. Nor can I dance.

89. My mother and brother are very musical. I am not, though I love to listen to music others have created.

90. I laugh like my father's side of the family. It's always bothered me a bit.

91. I have a difficult time remembering birthdays because my birthday stopped being important when I was about 7. Once I actually ran away from a group of people who were singing Happy Birthday to me.

92. I once just stared at a guy in a bar who was talking to me about how awkward it was to talk to girls in bars. He kept talking.

93. I tried to date two guys at once but always felt like I was cheating on the other guy even though they both knew.

94. I like trying to figure out how to get places, though I don't like to write down complete directions if I'm somewhat familiar with the area. I like the challenge of finding my destination.

95. I don't mind getting lost.

96. I love moonlight walks in the woods.

97. I once caught three sea bass during an afternoon of fishing off a jetty. It was a great afternoon.

98. I've written some pretty bad poetry, but it doesn't stop me from writing more.

99. I am a master procrastinator.

100. I don't really like to go back and read things I've written. I can always find places where the work could be improved. (I've worked as a journalist and currently do some freelance writing.)


Yay! 100 Things! It only took me a month to do! crikey.